It has long been in my playlist and has given me a boost many, many times.
Hope dangles on a string, like slow-spinning redemption
winding in and winding out, the shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in so mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated, I am vindicated
Today is two months with no partials!
That's a major milestone. I'm not out of the woods yet (not by a long shot) but I'm moving in the right direction.
And now that I'm finally past the exhaustion/fatigue/depression phases of the latest medication increase, I'm actually starting to feel good again. Energy is better and I'm feeling more positive.
Having decided to be done with the crappy year that 2016 has been, I personally celebrated New Year's on Nov 1 instead of January 1. Starting over. Feeling better. Setting new goals and getting myself back on track.
I've run twice so far this week, Sunday and today. My goal is to do Tues/Thurs/Sat/Sun for awhile, until I get some fitness back. Maybe do some short races in the early spring, just to give me some short-term goals.
Some thoughts on today's run:
For awhile I've been noticing that my balance and/or proprioception seem to be a bit off. Both are potentially neurologically related, which has me wondering if it's connected to my neuro issues. I mostly notice it when I'm running and when I'm descending staircases. I feel as though I don't trust my feet to land where they're supposed to, and on stairs I'll hang on to the railing and watch my feet to make sure they're landing properly. I don't know if this is a neuro thing or if it's because of having sprained my ankle so badly (twice) last fall, and I've been really cautious and paranoid about landing on it wrong again. I'm going to mention it to the neuro though and see what he thinks. Maybe there's a connection, maybe it's my imagination--either way it won't change what I do because running and walking can only make something like that better, not worse.
Also, today I passed one man in a wheelchair and a blind man walking with a cane. It made me grateful that even though it's been a tough time, I still can run. As long as I still can, I will.
This week's gratitude shout-out goes to my family. I have mentioned it before, but my family has been so incredibly supportive through this whole journey, in various ways. I'm so incredibly glad to have you guys. I can't imagine trying to do this on my own. <3
