summer off...

Two months since my last update, and my summer off has been lazy, sleepy, slow...

The purpose of taking the summer off was to decompress and de-stress. To focus on taking care of myself and my health.

The first few weeks were downright weird. I didn't know what to do with myself. It's very strange going from the constant overdrive of self-employed go-go-go-go non-stop working seven days per week to a sudden. stop.

Just nothing. I had nothing to do. Nowhere to be. No schedule. No obligations. I kept feeling like I should be somewhere, like I should be doing something. And the sudden mental shift. For five years every spare minute had been focused on "should be working on my business" and now suddenly that's not there anymore, and the world is just... quiet. I kept looking for a new project to start, or a new business, or a new....? It took me a few weeks to just relax.

And then I over-relaxed. Or something. Napping, reading, hiking, walking, running. Learning how to sail. That's all good stuff, but I was finding in July that I was spending too much time alone, and getting very lonely and sad. Part of that was my medication (it comes in clusters, along with my partials). Part of it was that I was spending too much time in my house by myself, and on facebook.

I find that now that I can nap every day, I do. There was one day last week where I took three naps in one day. That's how tired I am. That's what my medications do to me. Even though I'm not working, not doing anything except reading and napping, I'm exhausted all the time.

Sometime in the last few weeks I unconsciously made a shift. Suddenly I started thinking about hiring a registered dietitian and a physical trainer, about joining a gym and starting a training program. I didn't realize until yesterday that this is a shift from mental recovery to physical recovery. This is a good thing. It means that I'm ready to start moving forward.

So I'm starting consultations with an RD to see if there's anything I can do in my diet to offset the effects of my medications, to help me feel better. And I've joined the local gym. Maybe I will hire a trainer (probably not until I have an income again).

And I've started looking for a new job.  Can't just sit around forever. :)

Oh, I'm also still waiting for the referral to a new neurologist. But that takes months... no word yet.